Losing It All
by Ti'kara
Summary: I have thru ch. 7 up. Ishaia is a 15 year old girl living on a starship, when her family is killed, who's gonna come to the rescue? Rating is for minor violence and rape (although not detailed).
1. Chapter 1

Title: Losing it All

By: Ti'kara

Summary: Ishaia is a 15 year old girl living on a starship, when her family is killed, who's gonna come to the rescue?

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own the show, or the characters, except for Ishaia, her mother, sister and the Inari. Those are all mine. J (this applys to ALL chapters.) 

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I walked quickly down the hall and to my quarters. The door whooshed open as I approached and I hurried inside. "Manua," I called, "Are you here? Ma'adry! Is anyone home? Oh, neo-zite! (Swearing sounds familiar in any language) Where is everybody?" I left my quarters and went on looking for my mother and sister. "Maybe they're in the mess hall," I mumbled to myself. 

"Excuse me, did you say something?" Ensign Daru asked.

"Oh, I was just wondering where Captain Mintaka and my sister are," I answered. 

"I believe the Captain is in Engineering and Ma'adry was in the cargo bay," the Ensign answered.

"Great," I said, "thanks Ensign." I ran off toward the stairs leading to the cargo bay. Entering the cargo bay I called out "Ma'adry, are you here!"

"Yes," came the answer. 

"Well where are you?" I cried out exasperated. "You were supposed to meet me in the bio lab 15 min. ago." 

"Oops, I forgot," Ma'adry said as she came out from behind a bin, "I got to reading this really neat story and I guess I lost track of the time." 

I sighed, Ma'adry was doing this all the time. She'd get so engrossed in a story that she'd even forget to eat. "Well hurry up zonderlin, we only get the lab for a short time for that biology project." 

"I know, I know" Ma'adry groaned, "but I so hate biology, don't you think I could skip it this time?" She wheedled. 

"No, I…" I broke off as the ship was rocked and knocked me off my feet. I heard Ma'adry cry out and then heard no more.

**I slowly opened** my eyes and winced as the bright lights caused my head to start pounding. "Ah, you're finally awake, are you. Good, now maybe I can get some answers." Said a voice somewhere off to my left. Slowly I turned my head and saw a Cardassian standing there. Fear suddenly overwhelmed me as I realized we were really in trouble. 

"Who are you?" I asked in a small voice. 

"I am Gul Truvet of the Cardassian fleet." He answered me. 

"What…" But he cut me off. 

"I'll ask the questions here. What is your name?" 

"Ishaia Mintaka," I answered. 

"What ship is this?' 

"It's the E'shayla" 

"And what are you doing here?' 

"Where do you mean? In the cargo bay?" Suddenly he jerked me up by my arm and shook me. 

"NO! I mean in the DMZ! Now what is your ship doing here!" He snarled. I shrank away but he held me fast. 

"I…I don't know." I stammered. Quickly Truvet backhanded me across the face so hard I would have fallen if he hadn't been holding me by the arm. I cried out. "I don't know," I sobbed. "I'm telling you the truth. I don't…." 

"That's enough," the Gul shouted. "Bring her to the mess hall," he ordered shoving me toward another Cardassian. It was all I could do to keep from crying. I had never been so scared in my life. What were these Cardassians doing here, and what did they want? What did they mean by the DMZ? The Alliance of Planetary Governments was neutral. We had nothing to do with the Federation, Cardassian peace treaty. The Cardassian was dragging me with him and I summoned up the courage to ask, 

"Where are my mother and my sister?" The Cardassian slapped me and told me to shut up. I reached up to my mouth with my free hand and wiped away the blood, blinking back the tears. As the mess hall doors opened, he shoved me inside. It looked like most of the crew was there, and over in the corner sat Ma'adry crying softly. 

Ma'adry looked up and cried out "Ishaia!" 

"Ah," said Gul Truvet, "I believe this must be your sister." Smiling evilly, he ordered his aid to bring Ma'adry over. "Let's reunite these two wonderful sisters," he said. "Now I'm just going to give you one more chance. You can either tell me what you are doing in the DMZ, or you can die. It's that simple." Ishaia and Ma'adry's mother stood up. 

"I already told you," she said, "This is The Alliance of Planetary Governments Starship **E'shayla**. We are in the DMZ to deliver humanitarian supplies to Teffon II. That is all." 

"I see," he said. Then pointing to Ma'adry he said, "kill her". The guard instantly pointed his weapon at Ma'adry and fired. A pure beam of energy lashed out, hitting Ma'adry and killing her instantly. I screamed. Captain Tiera Mintaka jumped up shouting, but before she could say a word the Gul pointed his weapon at my head and snapped "One word and she dies next." Captain Mintaka froze, shutting her mouth quickly. "Now, sit down." Without a word she sat. "Now do you see what happens when you lie? Tell me the truth, quickly now, before I lose my patience" 

Lt. Janst answered, "The Captain already told you. There's nothing else to say." Truvet simply pointed at Janst and the guard killed him. 

He ordered Captain Mintaka brought to his side and then said, "this will stop as soon as you decide to tell me the truth. Kill them, one by one, unless I order you to stop." The guards opened fired and began killing the crew. My mother stood there helplessly while her crew was being slaughtered. I tried to turn away, but the Gul wouldn't let me. My mother shouted at him that she had already told him the truth, but he wouldn't listen. When the guards were finished he turned to look at the Captain "Now what would hurt you worse Captain? Seeing your second daughter killed and knowing it is your own fault or dying knowing I will keep her alive, giving her to my men for entertainment and then torture. I think it would definitely be the last. Good bye, Captain" And with that he shot Captain Mintaka himself.

**I lay on the floor** in the cargo bay curled up into a little ball. After Truvet's men had had their 'fun', one of the men had beaten me until I was unconscious. As I woke up the memories of what had happened flooded over me. I just wanted to die. Like everyone else I cared about had. Why didn't the Cardassians just kill me? Why keep torturing me? It wasn't like Manua could know and be hurt by it anymore. Truvet had killed her. Suddenly I was aware of how quiet the cargo bay was. It sounded like everyone had left, or was asleep. I tried to get up but the pain when I moved made me gasp. The nausea engulfed me in waves and I struggled not to vomit. 

Suddenly I heard the cargo bay doors open. Fear engulfed me like a tidal wave. Oh please, just let them kill me, I thought. I heard footsteps walking around the bay. I held my breath. Maybe if I were very quiet they would forget about me. Suddenly the footsteps approached where I lay. "Oh my God," I heard a male voice say. I cringed. Please, please, I thought, let him just go away. I felt a hand on my shoulder. Immediately all my control vanished. I couldn't stand anymore and I started screaming and trying to struggle. The man grabbed my wrists and rolled me onto my back. 

"Take it easy," he said in a gentle voice. "Take it easy, no one is going to hurt you. I'm here to help." But I couldn't take it easy. The pain was too great and the fear overwhelmed me. I couldn't think straight, all I knew was that I couldn't take anymore. I must have been babbling something because the man was saying over and over, " Sh, Sh, it's all over. You're safe now." Gradually I stopped struggling. I had no more energy and I was in too much pain. Whatever happened, happened. I couldn't do anything to stop it. 

I whimpered, "please don't hurt me. Please." 

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said, letting go of my wrists. "I want to help you." 

"Help me?" I asked looking up. 

He smiled, "That's right," he said, "Help you." 

Finally I was able to look at his face "You're not Cardassian!" I gasped. 

He smiled again, "That's right, I'm human. My name is Chakotay. We heard your distress call and came to see if we could help. Can you tell me your name?" He asked me. 

"Ishaia," I replied. 

"Well, Ishaia, I think you need a trip to our sick bay, such as it is." 

"The Cardassians!" I suddenly remembered. "Watch out, they're on the ship." 

"No they aren't," Chakotay assured me, "We've taken care of them." Chakotay then pressed an emblem on his jacket and said, "two to transport". The next thing I knew we were on another ship.

**"Tell Seska** I have a girl who needs some medical care," Chakotay told the woman handling the transporter. 

"Yes, Captain," the girl replied. Captain, I thought. I've been rescued by the Captain of this ship, whatever it is. Chakotay reached down to pick me up and as he moved me the pain roared to life again. I cried out as waves of nausea rolled over me. He immediately stopped moving me but it was to late as I started to vomit. Chakotay put a hand on my forehead and the other around my shoulders as I heaved. 

"Get Seska in here with a medical kit now!" He ordered as he supported me. A minute or so later as the nausea started to ease a little a woman came over with a tricorder and started to scan me. "Well?" Chakotay asked. 

"Broken ribs, bruises, contusions, lacerations, a broken collar bone and the bones in her left hand have been smashed." The woman replied. 

"Do you have what you need to take care of her injuries?" The Captain asked. 

"No," she answered. "The ribs and other injuries yes, but, not her shattered hand that's going to take some major work and knowledge which I don't have." 

"How about the pain and nausea?" He asked. 

"I can take care of that right now." And she immediately put a hypo to my neck. I heard a hiss and suddenly the pain and nausea were a lot better. 

"Thanks," I whispered. I was still feeling really weak. 

The woman smiled, "no problem," she said. "Now I think we'd better get you to the infirmary." 

Chakotay looked at me and asked, "Do you think you can stand to be moved now?" 

I nodded, "I think so". He carefully picked me up and carried me to the infirmary.

Laying me on a bed he told Seska, "See what you can do while I go up to the bridge and check on things. 

Suddenly scared, I cried out "NO! Don't leave me!" 

Chakotay turned around and walked back to the bed, "Ishaia," he said, "you won't be alone. Seska's here." 

"No, please don't go! I'm scared." 

He gently took my uninjured hand in his and told me, "Ishaia, you are safe here. No one is going to hurt you. For one thing if they did they would have to answer to me, and believe me no one wants to do that." He smiled, "I promise you I will be right back." I couldn't hold back the tears anymore and they started to pour down my face. Chakotay looked at me, concern in his eyes. "OK, honey, I'm not going anywhere with you feeling like this." "Chakotay to Tuvok." 

"Tuvok here" 

"Report" 

"The search of the E'shayla has been completed. There was only one survivor, the girl you found." 

"Very well, resume course and speed." Chakotay ordered. 

"Aye, sir." 

**Seska proceeded** to treat my injuries as I struggled to control the tears. "I'm sorry," I mumbled. 

"What for?" Chakotay asked, puzzled. 

"For being such a baby," I sobbed. "I can't seem to stop crying." 

"Ishaia," Chakotay replied, "There is nothing for you to be sorry for, you haven't done anything wrong." He reached out and gently wiped a tear away. "It's ok to cry. You're entitled after what you've been through." 

"I'm embarrassed though. I never cry," and I continued struggling to stop the tears. 

Chakotay watched my face, "Honey, just cry it out. There's absolutely nothing for you to be embarrassed about. Crying can be a good thing. It can help you work through the pain. Stop worrying about it." He smiled. Seska finished with the Dermal Regenerator. 

"Sir," she said, "can I speak to you a minute?" 

"What is it?" He asked. 

"Um, privately," she replied. I started to panic; he wasn't going to leave me, was he? I wasn't ready for him to go. I was still terrified and he was the only one I felt safe with. 

Chakotay patted me on the shoulder, "We'll be right over there on the other side of the room," he told me understanding my fear. I nodded watching him walk away. "What is it, Seska?" He asked.


	2. Chapter 2

sstff2

Title: Losing it All

By: Ti'kara

Summary: Ishaia is a 15 year old girl living on a starship, when her family is killed, who's gonna come to the rescue?

Seska looked at him, "um, it's about Ishaia's injuries. There is something I didn't want to tell you in front of her," she said. Chakotay raised his eyebrows. "She's been raped, Chakotay, more than once. In fact from the scan I'd say multiple times." 

He nodded, "Thanks, Seska." 

"I'm going to have to treat those injuries also," she told him, "and I don't think it would be a good idea for her to be awake while I do it. I'd like to sedate her." 

Chakotay nodded, "I'll tell her." "Ishaia," he said, walking back to the bio bed, "Seska is going to give you some medicine to make you go to sleep so that you can get some rest." 

"No, please, I don't want to go to sleep. They might come back." I cried. 

Chakotay smiled as he took my hand again. "Ishaia, the Cardassians are not coming back. Their ship is too badly damaged for it to go anywhere." 

"Are you sure?" My voice trembled as I spoke, "I mean there are other ships aren't there?" 

"Yes, there are," he replied, "but that isn't your problem, it's mine. I'll take care of it and you." 

"But…." I started. 

Chakotay interrupted me, "no arguments. This is my decision and I've made it." He spoke firmly. 

"Will you be here when I wake up?" I asked. 

He smiled, "I promise you I will." He nodded to Seska who applied a hypo to my neck. In a minute or less I was asleep. Chakotay turned walking to the door, "I'll be on the bridge. Notify me before she wakes up."

**As Chakotay walked** to the bridge he shook his head. He was angry, how could anyone do that to a child, he thought. She is so frightened I'm not sure how to help. Walking onto the bridge he asked Tuvok, "Anything to report?" 

"No sir," Tuvok replied. "There are no ships within scanner range and we are at warp two approximately fifteen hours from our rendezvous. We are going to be over an hour late, Captain." 

"Increase speed to warp four," he ordered, "and I'll take over now. Go get some food and rest." 

"Aye, sir," Tuvok left the bridge. Chakotay sat at the helm watching the stars go by, thinking about the meeting ahead. He hoped it would go well. They needed this plan to work. 

"How is she?" B'Elanna asked him. 

"Mmmm?" He looked over at her questioning. 

"The girl, how is she?" 

"Oh, Seska's treating her now. Physically she'll heal, but emotionally I don't know," he answered her. "They really hurt her." 

"I know what they can be like," B'Elanna nodded remembering her own experience with them. 

"The thing is I don't know how to help her," Chakotay told her. "She's so frightened and she doesn't want me to leave her for a minute." 

"That's understandable," B'Elanna replied. "You're the one who rescued her. She probably doesn't feel safe with anyone else. I'd suggest you just give her time and trust your instincts, Chakotay, they've always worked for you before."

**Hours later** Chakotay sat thinking in the infirmary waiting for Ishaia to wake up. "Chakotay to Henney." 

"Yes sir," came the response. 

"I need you to prepare quarters for our guest as close to mine as you can," Chakotay ordered. 

"Yes sir," Henney answered. I woke up wondering where I was. 

Looking around the events of the last day came back to me and I sat up crying out, "Chakotay!" 

"I'm right here," he replied walking over to the bio bed. 

"I was afraid you weren't going to be here," I said shaking. 

"I said I would be, and I always keep my promises," Chakotay said. "How are you feeling?" 

"Better," I answered, "but my hand's throbbing." 

"Here," he said, "I can take care of that," picking up a hypo and giving me some medicine. "Better?" 

"Much," I nodded. Looking at my hand I noticed that someone had put a splint on it, probably Seska. 

"Think you can get up?" Chakotay asked me. 

I nodded, "I think so." Chakotay held out his hand and helped me off the bed. 

"Hungry?" he asked. 

"Yes, I am," I answered surprised. 

"Well come with me and we'll get something to eat." 

**Walking up to** the replicater in the mess hall Chakotay asked, "what would you like?" 

"Lorileke Stew," I told him. 

"I don't think we have that in the computer," he said. 

"Oh, well then I guess you'd better choose something. You probably don't have any Inari dishes in the computer." 

"Probably not," Chakotay smiled, "how about a hamburger?" 

"Ok," I said. Chakotay took the food and led me to a table. I turned to follow and bumped into someone. He caught me before I could fall. Jerking away, I shouted, "don't touch me." 

"Excuse me," the man said. 

Chakotay stepped over, "Is there a problem, Tuvok?" 

"I do not know, sir. I was merely trying to keep her from falling." 

Chakotay looked at me, "Ishaia?" 

"I'm sorry," I told the man, "I...." I broke off and started running to the door tears blinding me. 

"Ishaia," Chakotay called, "Ishaia, wait." But I kept running out the door and down the hall. 

Chakotay put down the tray he was carrying and hastily went after her. He found her down the hall leaning against the wall crying. Putting his arm around her shoulders he asked gently, "What's wrong honey?" 

I shook my head, "I don't want to talk about it," I sobbed. 

Chakotay nodded, "come with me," he said. Keeping his arm around me he guided me down the hall. Coming to a door he ushered me into a room saying, "these are your quarters." Leading me to the bunk he suggested I sit down. I sat down feeling like the whole universe was coming to an end. Or maybe just wishing it would. Chakotay sat on the only chair in the small room. "Ishaia, I understand that it is hard to talk about what happened, but, keeping it all bottled up isn't going to help. You need to talk about it so that you can work through it." 

"What are you, the ship's counselor?" I asked sarcastically. 

He nodded, smiling, "The only one available, I'm afraid." He ignored my sarcasm. I felt miserable; I didn't normally talk that way to people. Manua would have been ashamed if she had heard that. I knew I should apologize but I was too upset. 

"I don't need a counselor," I said sharply. 

"How about a friend then?" Chakotay asked. 

I looked at him surprised; "I don't have any! All my friends are dead!" I shouted at him, how could he be so callous? 

"I'd like to be your friend," he said gently, ignoring my anger. 

"Why don't you just go away? I want to be left alone," I told him. 

"Too bad," he said, "I'm not leaving you alone when you're this upset." 

I took a deep breath, "I'm not upset," I lied. Manua would have been really shocked, Inari don't tell lies, but at this point I didn't care. I felt totally out of control, terrified and alone. My whole family had been killed on the E'shayla. I had no one. No one to care about me or who could even begin to understand what I'd been through. 

"Ishaia, don't lie to me," Chakotay said sharply. "I will never lie to you, and I expect you to be honest with me also." Suddenly I was ashamed, he had been so kind to me and I was treating him badly. 

"I'm sorry," I apologized. 

"Accepted," he said smiling. 

"It's just…." I trailed off. 

"Go on," he urged me, "I'm listening." 

"I don't know how to explain or even what to say. My whole world is falling apart and feel I completely alone. Everyone is dead and I don't know what to do or where to go." I started crying again. Chakotay sat down next to me and put his arm around me. 

"You are not alone, Ishaia," he said. "I'm here and for now you don't need to worry about where you'll go. When the time comes we'll figure something out. Do you have any relatives?" 

I shook my head; "they're all dead." 

"What about your parents? Were they on the E'shayla with you?" He asked. 

"My father died two years ago in a battle," I told him. 

"And your mother?" I started trembling and broke into sobs, seeing my mother's and sister's death in my head again. I nodded my head. 

"The Cardassians killed her and Ma'adry," I cried. Chakotay pulled me gently against his chest sensitively brushing my hair off my face. 

"Cry it out, honey," he said softly. "It's going to be all right, just have a good cry," as he compassionately rocked me. Gradually the tears stopped and I just lay against his chest-feeling safe and protected. Chakotay put his hands on my shoulders and eased me back. I sat looking at my hands feeling drained and he reached out with his finger and tipped my chin up. Looking at me he carefully wiped the tears off my face. "Better?" He asked. 

"Yes," I whispered back, "a little." 

He smiled, "good, now how about that food?" 

I shook my head, "I'm too tired to eat," I said softly. 

"Ok," he said, "I'll let you get to bed. If you need me just call and I'll come. My quarters are right across the hall." 

I jumped up, "Chakotay, please don't leave me alone," I pleaded. "I know I'm being a bother but I'm afraid." 

Chakotay came back in the room; "you aren't being a bother, Ishaia. What are you afraid of?" 

"I…I can't talk about it," I stammered turning my back. 

Taking me by the shoulders he turned me around, "honey," he said quietly, "I can't help if you don't talk to me." I looked at him, seeing the compassion on his face. 

"I can't," I choked in anguish. 

"Ok, what if I get Seska to stay with you will that help?" He asked me patiently. I stood there I didn't want Seska. I didn't want anyone else but I realized I was causing a lot of trouble. Chakotay was the Captain of this ship. I couldn't keep monopolizing his time. 

"No," I answered, "I'll be all right. I can call you if I need you?" 

"Of course you can, anytime. And Ishaia, I mean anytime," Chakotay responded, "but are you sure?" 

"Yes, I am," I told him not exactly truthfully. 

"Well all right, good night Ishaia." 

"Good night, Chakotay or should I call you Captain?" I answered. 

He smiled, "Chakotay's fine." 

**After he left,** I dropped back onto the bed. I was trembling and trying not to think about what had happened on the E'shayla. I wasn't doing a very good job, but I was trying. I lay down on the bed pulling the cover over me, said "computer, lights out," and tried to go to sleep. I tossed and turned my mind a jumble of images. Everything that had happened that day was running around in my head. I couldn't get it out of my mind. Finally, I dropped off to sleep. 

I woke up with a start, crying out as I sat up in bed. My heart was pounding and sweat was pouring down my face. I had been dreaming but it was like it was happening. Shaking, I cried wanting to call Chakotay, but I was afraid he wouldn't come. "Chakotay," I cried out, knowing that he couldn't here me. I had never felt so alone in my life. 

"Ishaia?" It was Chakotay's voice. 

"Chakotay?" I cried. 

"Yes," he answered, "I'll be right there." I couldn't believe it, how had he heard me?

A minute later the door opened and Chakotay came in. He walked over to the bed and sat down. "Can't sleep?" He asked. 

I shook my head; "I had a bad dream. The worst dream I ever had, only it wasn't really a dream. It happened." 

"Do you want to tell me about it?" He asked. I shook my head. Chakotay hesitated, but he decided that it had to be brought into the open. "Ishaia, were you raped?" I gasped and started to shake me head but the expression on his face stopped me. He showed such caring and concern and I remembered what he'd said about never lying to him. Slowly I nodded my head and burst into tears again.

"Ishaia, come here," he said as he drew me into his arms, cradling my head against his chest. "It will be all right and so will you. It will take time but you will be able to get past this." 

"How do you know?" I sobbed. 

"Trust me, honey, I know, but you are going to have to stop trying to bury it. If you keep it all inside you it will take you longer to heal," he replied. "You need to talk about it to someone. Would it be easier for you to talk to a woman rather than to me?" 

"NO! I don't want anyone else to know and I only feel safe with you. I know you're busy and I'm sorry I'm being such a pain but I need YOU! Oh, I'm so ashamed," I wailed. 

"Ishaia, you are not being a pain," Chakotay replied, "and I am not too busy to be here for you. I told you I'm your friend and friends help one another. I am here for you anytime you need me, you only have to ask. And there is nothing for you to be ashamed about. None of this is your fault."

"I shouldn't have let them." 

"Honey, how could you have stopped them?" He asked. 

"I should have fought harder!" I shouted pushing away from him I stood up. My hand clenched into a fist.

"From your injuries, I'd say you fought very hard," Chakotay said. 

"Obviously not hard enough," I responded. 

"Ishaia, how old are you?" 

"15, why?" I answered. 

"These were grown men, how do you honestly think you could have stopped them? How many were there?" He continued. 

"I'm not sure," I replied. "Five or six." 

"Oh, sweetheart, you didn't have a chance. Stop feeling guilty and ashamed you couldn't have stopped them. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Do you understand?" 

"But…" I started. I felt two hands on my shoulders and he turned me around to face him. Putting his finger under my chin he lifted my head up and looked at my face. 

"No buts," He interrupted, "Do you understand?" I nodded my head. "Believe me?" 

"Are you just trying to make me feel better?" I asked him. 

"I told you I would never lie to you, and I won't, not even to make you feel better." He answered. "The question is 'do you believe me?'" 

I nodded, "I believe you, Chakotay."

He smiled, "good. Now, would you like to talk some more or go back to bed?"

"Actually," I hesitated.

"What?" He asked.

"Well, Ummm…" I broke off.

"Ishaia, what is it." I looked at him, not sure if I should ask. I felt I was being a bother even though he said I wasn't. I couldn't read his mind to see if he meant it. After all, it was illegal to read a non-telepaths mind without their permission. Chakotay noticed my hesitation. "You can ask me anything, Ishaia. If I can't do it I'll tell you."

"Well then, I'm hungry. We never did get that food." I blurted out.

Chakotay laughed, "Oh Ishaia, of course we can get something to eat. Let's go to the mess hall.

**Later, in the** mess hall, after we had our food, Chakotay said, "tell me a little about yourself, for instance, where are you from?"

"Inar," I answered. "That's a planet in the Miltar System. We're a member world of The Alliance of Planetary Governments or Alliance for short. My parents were with the Alliance Defense Forces or ADF. My father was Chief Engineer on the E'shayla before he was killed in a battle with the Lenetii and my mother was the Captain." My voice started to shake and I blinked trying to stop the tears. Chakotay reached out and placed a hand over mine.

"I'm sorry about your mother and sister, he said softly. 

I summoned up a ghost of a smile, "thanks. I haven't thanked you for rescuing me and helping me so much. I don't think I would have survived if it hadn't been for you."

"You are welcome, Ishaia. I 'm glad I could help. I'm just glad we heard your ships distress call," he answered. Chakotay carefully steered the conversation back to my background. "Where did you live on Inar?"

"Actually, I didn't live there."

Chakotay looked puzzled, "but I thought you said you were from Inar?"

I laughed, "Well, not exactly I guess. I was born on an ADF Starship. But, my parents were both from Inar; so, the Alliance considers that to be my home planet also. Actually, while I've visited Inar, I have never lived there. We've always lived on board ship, wherever my parents have been posted. I didn't always live with both of them, though. They weren't always stationed together."

"Sounds a lot like Starfleet," Chakotay laughed.

I smiled, "that's the Federation, isn't it?"

"That's right. Oh, I almost forgot to give this to you." He handed me an emblem like the one he wore. "Place this on the right side of your shirt. It's a communications badge. Press it and say 'Ishaia to whoever' and the computer will connect you to the right person. Understand?"

I nodded. "OK, it's my turn to ask the questions," I said, placing the comm. badge on my jumper. "What ship is this, anyway?"

"The Liberty," he answered, smiling.

"Well, I know you can't be Starfleet, so just who are you?"

"Maquis," he replied.

"Well, that explains how you were able to take on a Cardassian ship and win." I paused, thinking and took a bite of my food. "What's going to happen to me now?" I asked him.

"We have an important rendezvous in several hours. Then a mission we can't afford to miss. After that, we will try to find a way to get you to a space port where we can find a ship to take you home," he told me.

"But, I don't have a home. My home was the E'shayla. And I don't have anyone to go to on Inar."

"Doesn't the government have ways of finding homes for orphans? Most governments do."

"I guess so." I sat looking out the window at the stars. I really felt lost and while Chakotay was very kind and caring I missed the contact of other minds. Being on board a ship without telepaths was strange. I wasn't used to not being able to share my thoughts with my family and friends. Carrying on a conversation only verbally was somewhat empty. Words alone just didn't carry the same meaning.

"A penny for your thoughts," Chakotay interrupted my musings.

"What?" I asked, confused. "I don't understand."

"It's an old human expression," he explained. "It's a way of asking 'what are you thinking about?'"

"Oh! I was just thinking how quiet it is here."

"Well it is the middle of our sleep cycle," Chakotay said.

"No, I don't mean that. It's not hearing other minds. It makes me feel Mmmm, lonely." I explained.

"Hearing other minds?" Chakotay asked. "Are you telepathic?"

"Yes," I answered simply. "All Inari are to some degree.

"Can't you read non-telepath's minds?"

"Of course I can, easy," I responded. "It's only that Inari law forbids reading a non-telepath's mind without their permission except under specific conditions."

"What conditions?" He asked.

"Well, like if your life or the life of another is in danger. The examiners in a criminal investigation with a warrant from a judge can, also. The Commanding Officer of a starship can order it. The CO would then take responsibility for the legality of the reading. Also, if you receive an extremely strong emotion through your shields you can check to see if someone needs help, in fact you're required to. People have been known to call for help over great distances with telepathy."

"I see," said Chakotay, "that's very inter…" The ship suddenly rocked and there was the sound of an explosion.

"Chakotay to the bridge." Said a voice.

"Report!" Chakotay snapped.

"We're under fire from a Cardassian cruiser." The voice responded.

"I'm on my way," he replied. "Ishaia, go to your quarters," he said as he walked to the door.

"Yes sir," I replied to what had been clearly and order. I left the room and headed for my quarters.


	3. Chapter 3

sstff3

Title: Losing it All

By: Ti'kara

Summary: Ishaia is a 15 year old girl living on a starship, when her family is killed, who's gonna come to the rescue?

****

Abruptly the ship shook again, knocking me into a wall; a panel behind me exploded. "Ow," I cried out, my hand throbbing where I had hit it against the wall. Cradling my injured hand to my chest I continued down the hall. Suddenly I heard a cry of pain in my head. Freezing, I focused my mind outward, trying to find the source of the cry. The pain in my wrist was distracting me, I couldn't focus. 

Ishaia, I told myself, you are going to have to block the pain out of your mind. I sat down against the wall and ignoring the pounding going on around me, concentrated on my hand. I focused my mind on finding and blocking the pain receptors in my brain. Slowly, using my mind, I blocked those receptors from being able to receive the pain signals. This accomplished, I turned my mind outward, searching for the person who was in so much pain. Finding the mind, I broke out in a cold sweat. The pain was overwhelming. Concentrating, I blocked out the pain and focused on where the person was. The cargo bay, I saw. Getting up, I started to go to the cargo bay only to realize that I didn't know where it was.

I hesitated, wondering what to do. Finally, I reached out with my mind. _Where are_ _you?_ I felt the puzzlement of the person. I tried again. _Where are you?_ Isaw the cargo bay in my head again. I frowned, I already knew that. _Where is the cargo bay?_ I sent. Still nothing. Frustrated, I decided to ask Chakotay. I wouldn't ordinarily interrupt the Captain in the middle of a battle, but someone was injured an in trouble. I pressed my comm. badge, "Ishaia to Chakotay."

"Not now, Ishaia." Chakotay replied tersely.

"Sir, someone is badly injured in the cargo bay, and I don't know where it is."

"Yuri," Chakotay ordered.

"Where are you?" A voice I assumed was Yuri's asked me.

"I'm just down the hall from the mess hall," I answered.

"Continue down the hall and turn right at the next intersection. There will be some stairs, go down them. Take the next left and the cargo bay will be two doors down on the right."

"Thanks," I signed off.

"Report when you get there, Chakotay ordered, knowing that with her growing up on a starship with a captain for a mother she would know what he meant. "And be careful."

"Yes sir," I acknowledged. I found the cargo bay without any trouble, except for staying on my feet. Entering it I looked around, reaching out with my mind and searching with my eyes. I felt the presence of a person in pain and wound my way around the cargo containers. There he was or I should say she for it was a woman. Several containers had fallen on her and she couldn't move. I knelt down beside her. "Hi," I said, "I'm Ishaia." The woman looked at me, pain in her eyes.

"B'Elanna," she whispered. I nodded, smiling.

"Ishaia to Chakotay"

"Go ahead."

"B'Elanna is trapped under some cargo containers. I can't tell how badly she's hurt." I reported.

"I can't spare anyone right now," Chakotay said. "I'll send someone down as soon as possible."

"That's ok, I think I can handle it," I said.

"Good, I'll send someone to help when I can."

"B'Elanna, where do you hurt?" I asked her.

"All over," she responded her face gray and wet with sweat. I looked at the cargo containers.

"I think I can get these off you," I told her. "Just don't try to move."

"They're heavy. You're going to need help," she gasped.

"Sh, don't try to talk." Looking at one of the containers, I cleared my mind, breathing deeply and focusing. Concentrating, I raised one of my hands lifting the container slowly off B'Elanna, using my mind. I was glad that telekinesis was one of my abilities. Not all Inari had the capability. After making sure it was far enough away from B'Elanna I moved my hand in a sudden gesture and the container went flying. Carefully I repeated the procedure with the remaining containers. B'Elanna watched me with a shocked expression on her face.

"How'd you do that?" She wondered.

"I said don't try to talk. You don't obey orders very well, do you?" I said, winking at her. Anyway, to answer your question, it's called telekinesis. I'm actually pretty good at it. Now I need to find out where you're hurt."

"You'll need a Medical Tricorder. There sho…" B'Elanna started. I interrupted her quickly.

"I said don't talk. Now hush. You want me to report you to the Captain?" I spoke as sternly as I could. "I don't need a Medical Tricorder," I continued. "I wouldn't know how to use it anyway, now hold still while I see what's going on." I put my fingertips together or at least as together as I could with this darn splint on, pointing them toward the ceiling, my palms facing each other. I closed my eyes and concentrated. Looking back at B'Elanna I placed my hands a few inches above her head and slowly moved them over her body.

"What are you doing?" She asked me.

"Sh!" I continued concentrating on seeing her injuries in my mind. Letting my mind travel slowly through her bodies systems, looking for any injuries. I wasn't very good at this. I would never be a healer. Healers had to have a lot higher empathic healing rating than I did. Also, I didn't know how her biology was. I assumed it would be different from mine at least some. She didn't look human, although that didn't really matter, as I didn't know human biology either.

There, three broken ribs and a punctured lung. I continued down her body. A bad laceration on her thigh, good, nothing too serious. I should be able to heal them without too much trouble. The ship rocked as weapons fire hit it again. The lights went out, and emergency lighting came on. B'Elanna started trying to get up. "What do you think you're doing!" I shouted, trying to push her back down. "You're hurt and need treatment. Lie down."

"The ships under attack," she growled. "Chakotay needs me."

"A lot of good you'll do him in the shape you're in," I scoffed. "Let me treat these first then you can really help."

"Leave me alone. You don't even belong here, don't try to tell me what to do." B'Elanna said angrily.

Pressing my comm. badge, I said, "Ishaia to Chakotay."

"Chakotay"

"Captain, B'Elanna isn't cooperating." Up on the bridge, Chakotay smiled, even while struggling to evade the Cardassian cruiser. Why wasn't he surprised?

"What are her injuries," he asked.

"I'm fine," B'Elanna stated, categorically.

"I didn't ask you," the Captain responded, "I was talking to Ishaia." B'Elanna glowered.

"Three broken ribs, a punctured lung and a bad laceration on her leg," I reported.

"Can you take care of it?" He asked.

"Yes sir," I responded.

"Then do it and B'Elanna stop fighting her and do what she says."

"But…"

"That wasn't a request that was an ORDER!" The Captain said, leaving no room for doubt. He meant exactly what he had said. B'Elanna fumed.

"Well hurry up then," she spitted.

"Lay back, relax and be quiet," I ordered her. Putting my fingers together again I concentrated, centering myself, preparing for the task ahead. Carefully I placed my hands over her injured ribs, seeing her punctured lung in my mind's eye. A warm yellow glow started forming at my fingertips. Gradually it formed into a ball and flowed over the injured area. Focusing on the lung, I sent my life force toward the injury. The yellow glow spread, entering her body. Visibly, B'Elanna relaxed, feeling warm. I watched the lung heal and when I was satisfied switched my attention to the broken ribs. Watching them heal, I then moved to the cut on her leg. When that to was healed I placed my hands over her heart, using my life force to strengthen her and finished by placing my hands over her head. Finished, I sat back and the glow faded.

I was exhausted. Healing took a lot out of me. For a fully trained healer, those minor injuries wouldn't have taken much, but, for me, well, I wasn't as strong. My healing abilities were really quite weak. B'Elanna sat up, looking at me in surprise. "How'd you do that?" She asked me.

"Empathic Healing," I replied. It's not my strongest talent; however, I know enough to treat basic injuries. It just takes a lot out of me."

"Well, thanks," 

"You're welcome. Now don't you think you'd better report for duty?" I said grinning. She stood up, smiling, and left the room.

"Ishaia to Chakotay"

"Chakotay"

"B'Elanna's fit for duty," I reported.

"Already?" He asked surprised. "How'd you manage that?"

"I'll explain later, when you're not so busy, sir," I replied. Getting up I left the cargo bay and headed for my quarters. Lying down on the bed I looked at my hand. Last night I had tried to heal my hand, but I had been too upset. I couldn't calm the turmoil in my mind. My concentration was non-existent. Maybe now I could take care of it. It would certainly help to have this splint off my hand. Focusing, I sent my mind looking inward to the damage in my hand.

**On the bridge**, Chakotay was fighting to keep The Liberty in one piece and out of the line of fire. B'Elanna bounded onto the bridge. "B'Elanna, get me some more speed," he ordered. B'Elanna took over engineering and started punching controls.

"I can't give you anymore speed, we've suffered a hit to our plasma relays." She responded crisply.

"How about more power to shields?"

"Give me a second."

"Statistically speaking, we don't have much more than a second before The Liberty is too badly damaged to continue this fight," Tuvok stated calmly.

"There," B'Elanna said, ignoring the Vulcan. "I've increased shield strength by 10%. That's the best I can do."

"Transfer all but basic life support to the weapon systems," Chakotay ordered. She looked at him with a questioning look.

"Chakotay, that might blow the power relays."

"Just do it!" He ordered. B'Elanna pushed the necessary controls.

"There you have everything except the kitchen sink." She told the Captain. Chakotay brought the ship about, somehow avoiding the withering weapon's fire from the cruiser. Dipping and swerving the little ship barreled toward the Cardassian ship.

"Load forward torpedo bays and lock all weapons onto the engine core," Chakotay ordered. "Fire on my mark."

"Weapons locked" Tuvok reported.

"FIRE!" The photon torpedoes flashed across the view screen headed for the cruiser's engine core. There was an explosion. Immediately Chakotay ordered, "Fire phasers, and keep firing until I order you to stop." Tuvok fired the phasers. Pure energy assaulted the Cardassian ship. 

"Weapon systems are beginning to overload," B'Elanna reported.

"Maintain," he ordered.

"They're close to meltdown, Chakotay." B'Elanna said.

"Keep firing."

"Meltdown in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2…" Suddenly the Cardassian cruiser erupted into an enormous fireball.

"Cease fire," ordered Chakotay. Tuvok stopped the phasers just before the entire weapon system would have melted into a big lump of metal. "Report"

"The ship has been destroyed," Tuvok reported.

"Survivors?"

"None"

"Damage report"

"Extensive damage to ship's propulsion, and weapon systems. We have some power outages in minor systems," B'Elanna told him.

"How long to repair, B'Elanna?" Chakotay asked.

"At least six hours, if we have help."

"Help?"

"There's too much damage, we're going to need help." She replied.

"Contact the Peregrine," he told Tuvok. "Tell them we need them at these coordinates ASAP."

"Aye sir," Tuvok responded.

"Keep up continuous long distance scans of the area. I don't want to be surprised by anymore Cardassian ships, or anything else for that matter." Chakotay ordered.

"Aye Captain,"

"I'll be below. You have the bridge, Tuvok."

"Aye sir."

"Chakotay," B'Elanna said. "This girl, Ishaia, she's kind of strange."

"Oh? Strange in what way?" He asked.

"Well, she just looked at those containers that were on me, waved her hand and they went flying off me. Then she sat down, placed her hands over me and this sort of yellow glow came out of her hand. It flowed over me and I felt all warm and relaxed. The next thing I knew all the pain was gone and I could move. I mean the cut on my leg wasn't even bleeding anymore. It was freaky."

Tuvok raised an eyebrow. "Moving objects with one's mind is not freaky," he told B'Elanna. "It is called telekinesis. As for healing your injuries with a yellow glow as you expressed it; I have never heard of such a phenomenon." Chakotay nodded and left the bridge.

**The door chime** sounded. "Come in," I called. The door opened and Chakotay came in. "Hi," I said, standing up and placing my hands in the same position I had used in preparing to heal B'Elanna. I bowed in the traditional Inari greeting.

"Hi, yourself," he responded.

"I see the red alert has ended. I guess that means we're staying in one piece for a while longer." I smiled.

Chuckling, he said, "What did you expect with me at the helm."

Shrugging my shoulders, I replied, "I don't know. After all I don't know your abilities, or that of your crew." Sobering, He nodded.

"I know," he stated. "Now how about a complete report on what happened in the cargo bay. First, I thought I had told you to go to your quarters."

I nodded, "I know, and that was where I was headed when I felt someone get hurt. With the way the ship was pitching and rocking I didn't think you had time to do anything, and I knew the person was in trouble. I tried contacting her with my mind, but I guess she didn't understand. So, I contacted you. I didn't know what else to do. I didn't go to the cargo bay until you told me to, and I came straight here after B'Elanna was ok."

"Ishaia, I wasn't criticizing. I was just curious about how you knew someone was injured without being in the cargo bay. Are you able to receive the thoughts from non-telepaths without actively searching for them?" He sat in the only chair motioning me to the bed.

"Ummm, yes," I answered. "Strong emotions or very powerful thoughts can break through my shields. I can make my shields strong enough to block out all thoughts, even other telepaths, but it is exhausting to maintain for very long."

"That's very interesting," Chakotay said, leaning forward. "How did you heal B'Elanna so quickly? There wasn't enough time for you to have gotten medical supplies from the infirmary."

"I didn't need any medical supplies. B'Elanna suggested a Medical Tricorder, but I wouldn't have any idea how to use one. We don't have such devices."

"Then how do you find out what's wrong with a person."

"We use our minds. By directing our thoughts into the person's systems and focusing on the injuries we can see the injuries in our mind. Basically, I scanned her with my mind to determine the extent of her injuries." I explained.

"O…k. B'Elanna said that you used a yellow glow to heal her. Will you please explain that to me?" He asked me, grinning.

I smiled back, "Well, we call it empathic healing. It's what our healers use to cure illnesses and heal injuries. We don't really have many medicines or medical equipment. We use our minds for that too. I'm not very good, though. My empathic healing rating is really quite low. I can handle relatively minor injuries though, and if someone is critically injured I can strengthen them by transferring some of my life force to them. It can buy some extra time, maybe allowing them to make it to medical help.

"You know, Ishaia, your species is very interesting. I would really like to get to know more about your people." He told me. "Is telekinesis another ability of the Inari?"

"Not all Inari, but some have that ability." I responded.

"Like you?"

"Yes. My telekinetic ability is really very high. In fact it is one of the highest ratings ever-recorded in Inari history. My telepathic ability is also extremely high. In fact no other Inari has ever been rated as high. However, my empathic rating isn't much, in fact it's practically non-existent. I can sense very strong emotions, but not others." I explained. 

"Tuvok to Chakotay"

Chakotay pressed his comm. badge, "Chakotay here"

"The Peregrine has responded to our sub-space message. Estimated time to arrival two hours and 12 minutes."

"Understood, keep me posted." He ordered. I reached up with my hand brushing some of my auburn hair out of my face. Chakotay noticed my hand and his eyes widened. "You took the splint off you hand. Why?"

"I didn't need it anymore." I told him.

"But your hand."

"I healed it. I would have done it sooner, but I was too upset and couldn't focus. After dealing with B'Elanna's injuries successfully, I decided to try again. I had a little more success, although it still hurts. I guess I'm still having trouble focusing." I made a wry face. "You should see Manua! She can block pain that you wouldn't believe while still giving orders and then heal them no matter what had been going on a little while ago. Boy, can she focus. I still have a lot to learn and I need a lot more practice." Suddenly my face clouded as I remembered that Manua was dead. 

Chakotay looked at me quietly a moment, before asking softly, "who is Manua?"

I blinked the tears from my eyes, "my mother," I whispered. "Manua is Inari for mother." I couldn't keep the tears back and they started running down my face. I turned my back as much as I could while sitting on the bed, and tried to surreptitiously wipe them away. But, Chakotay wasn't fooled. He got up and walked over to the bed, sitting down.

"Ishaia, why do you try to hide your tears?" He asked me tenderly. "Your mother has just been killed. Crying is part of the grieving process and believe me you need to grieve." He put a hand on my shoulder turning me back around toward him. Smiling slightly, he continued, "I have a very good shoulder for crying on. Why don't you try it?" I looked at him through my tears.

"It's just that I feel like…Oh, I don't know," I wailed, "it's so hard to put into words. I'm so used to just sharing mind to mind. I…" I trailed off.

"Ishaia, go on, you're doing fine," Chakotay encouraged me. "I want to know what you are feeling, and unlike you, I can't read minds."

"I feel like I'm being a great big pain. I'm constantly bothering you when you have more important things to do. I know I've just been thrown into your life. You didn't have any say and…" I trailed off again, looking down at my hands.

"Ishaia," Chakotay said firmly, "look at me." I continued to stare at my hands, I couldn't face him. "Ishaia, I said look at me." By the tone of his voice I could tell he meant it. I looked up at him. He had a very stern expression on his face. "I told you that you were not being a bother or a pain…"

"I know you **said** that, but…" I cut in.

"NO buts," he interrupted, "I told you that you were not being a bother or a pain, didn't I?" I looked away feeling all churned up. I couldn't stand it if he was mad at me. Chakotay reached over and took me by the chin and turned my face back toward him. "Look at me when I'm talking to you, Ishaia." He said commandingly. "Now answer me."

"Yes sir," I whispered, choking back the sobs.

"And didn't I also tell you that I would never lie to you?"

"Yes sir," I sobbed.

"Well then?" He asked. " Why don't you believe me?"

I threw myself into his arms, sobbing wildly, "please don't be mad at me, Chakotay. Please!"

His face softened as he put his arms around me, holding me close. "I'm not mad at you, Ishaia. I'm just exasperated that you don't trust my word. I want you to trust me. I will help you in anyway I can. You are not bothering me when I have more important things to do. When we were attacked, you did exactly what I told you to, and you didn't bother me. You reported a situation to me that I needed to know about and then proceeded to handle it, and you handled it extremely well. I'm proud of you."

"You are?" I mumbled against his chest, surprised.

He smiled, "yes, I am. Despite being in the middle of a battle you were able to focus on taking care of a member of my crew. Even after all you've been through, you put it aside and focused on helping B'Elanna. I want to tell you how grateful I am and of course I'm proud of you. I believe your Manua would have been proud too. Also, what you said about my not having any say in your being here. That simply is not true. **I** make the decisions on this ship. **I** decided to answer your distress call, knowing that would mean rescuing any survivors. And I don't have to take care of you myself. As **Captain**, I could delegate that to one of my crew. I'm here because I care. As I already told you, I will always be here for you, all you have to do is ask. There will be times when I have to handle situations on the ship and you will have to wait. However, I will be there if you need me as soon as possible. I also expect you to obey my orders as you would have obeyed your mother's. Do you understand?"

I nodded my head against his chest, not wanting to move. It felt so good to be held. "Will you trust me?" He asked. I nodded again.

I trust you," I said softly.

"Good, now I want you to go to bed and get some sleep."

"Maybe I cou…"

"No maybes, I told you to go to bed and that's exactly what I meant." Chakotay said, accepting no argument. 

"Yes sir," I answered meekly.

"That's better," he responded.

"Chakotay?"

"Yes."

"May I still call you if I need to?"

"Of course you may. I told you that you could call me any time, and Ishaia, I don't say what I don't mean. Now get some sleep." He rose to go, "I'll come check on you later."

"Good night, Chakotay."

"Night, Ishaia, sweet dreams."


	4. Chapter 4

sstff4

Title: Losing it All

By: Ti'kara

Summary: Ishaia is a 15 year old girl living on a starship, when her family is killed, who's gonna come to the rescue?

****

Hours later, Chakotay was in the engine room checking with B'Elanna. He hoped the repairs could be made quickly. He hated being virtually a sitting duck in the middle of the DMZ. "Chakotay to Yuri." 

"Yuri here"

"Do the sensors show any ships in the vicinity?"

"Negative sir. Only the Liberty and the Peregrine are in this sector."

"Good, keep me informed, and keep a close eye on the long range sensors. I don't want any surprises." Chakotay ordered.

"Aye" 

Walking over to B'Elanna, Chakotay asked, "How are the repairs going?"

"They're coming along, Chakotay. They should be finished in about twenty minutes."

"Good, let me know when they're finished. I'm going to go get a bite to eat." B'Elanna smiled, shaking her head. Chakotay could be such a mother hen, although she well understood his nervousness at being dead in space in the middle of the DMZ. Twenty-six minutes later, she contacted Chakotay and told him that the repairs were complete. 

"Thanks, B'Elanna, good work." Chakotay told her. "Chakotay to Tuvok"

"Tuvok here"

"Set course for the Menurrit system, warp five. 

"Aye sir, warp five."

"Time to arrival?" Chakotay asked.

"Seven hours and seventeen minutes," Tuvok answered.

"Very well, I'll be in my quarters, notify me when we arrive."

"Aye sir"

**Chakotay sat** bolt upright in his bed, wondering what had awakened him so abruptly. Suddenly he heard it again. _CHAKOTAY!!!!_ It was a shout, only, he realized, he hadn't heard it with his ears. It was more like…hearing inside your head. _HELP ME!_ He jumped out of bed realizing that it was Ishaia calling out to him telepathically. Quickly he scrambled into his clothes and rushed out of his cabin. 

Opening Ishaia's door, he went inside. "Computer, lights, 50%" Looking over at the bed, he noticed Ishaia tossing and turning and moaning. Rapidly he went to the bed, placing his hand on Ishaia's shoulder. "Ishaia," he said gently, "Ishaia, wake up." Then more insistently as she continued to roll around on the bed. She cried out, her words making no sense. Chakotay took her by her shoulders and shook her lightly. "Ishaia, wake up," he said more forcefully. "It's ok, Ishaia, wake up." _AHHHHHHHH!_ He heard the scream inside his head again. It was overpowering. It made him shake. He pulled her up against him and wrapping his arms around her he said, "Ishaia, it's ok, wake up now. You're safe." 

But Ishaia started struggling, crying out, **"NO! Don't! Leave me alone! Please don't hurt me! PLEASE…"** She was totally hysterical, fighting violently, hitting his chest with her fists. Chakotay could barely hang on to her. It was obvious that she was still totally immersed in her nightmare. Chakotay grabbed her wrists, pushing her back down on the bed. He lay down beside her wrapping himself around her, trying to contain her before she hurt herself, or him. Holding her tightly, he continued talking to her gently and soothingly. "Ishaia, it's ok. No one is going to hurt you. You're safe. Sh, Sh, honey, everything is all right." He continued to hold her and talk to her quietly. 

Gradually, she calmed down. Her fists stilled against his chest and she stopped screaming. Chakotay tried again, "Ishaia, its Chakotay, wake up, honey. Come on honey, open your eyes. Everything is all right now. Wake up." He gently rubbed one hand over her back while stroking her hair with the other. Finally, Ishaia opened her eyes. She gasped, crying out. "It's ok, Ishaia, you were having a bad dream." Chakotay told her.

"I was so scared. I cou---ldn't get a---way." I sobbed, trembling.

"I know, sweetheart, but it's all over now. You're awake, and I'm here." He said softly, still rubbing my back. "Try to relax. Take some slow, deep breaths." I took some breaths, but I was still shaking. I didn't feel like I would ever be all right again. Snuggling against Chakotay I wished he'd never stop holding me. It was the only time I felt safe. Untangling himself from Ishaia, Chakotay sat up. "Ishaia, would you tell me about your dream?" I rolled up into a little ball feeling like I'd lost my only security, my only safe haven. Chakotay reached over and gently brushed my check. "Honey, talk to me, please. Tell me what you need."

_Hold me please,_ I thought, not realizing in my anguish that I had sent the thought to him. Chakotay jumped a little still not used to this form of communication. It was so effective. He understood the feeling with the thought. It was like he understood what she meant on a deeper level. If this is what she meant by 'sharing thoughts' he thought, its no wonder she misses it. "Of course I'll hold you, Ishaia, come here." I turned toward him surprised.

"How did you know?" I asked in wonder.

"Do you really need to ask? After all you're the telepath." He teased me. Suddenly I was upset for a different reason. Contacting a non-telepath's mind without their permission was illegal. I could be prosecuted. Chakotay saw the consternation on my face and asked quietly, "what's wrong?"

I didn't want to answer him, but I had to be honest. "Do you remember me telling you that it is against Inari law to contact the mind of a non-telepath without their permission except for in an emergency?"

Chakotay smiled, he understood now what had upset her. "Well what's the problem? This was an emergency and besides as far as I'm concerned you have my permission." He responded and he held out his arms. I threw myself into his arms leaning my head against his chest. He held me close, tenderly stroking my hair. "Ishaia, would it be easier for you to share your dreams with me telepathically?"

I started crying again, "You'd let me do that?" I sobbed.

"Of course I would, if it would help." He said surprised. "I'm not very used to telepathy. I didn't think of it until just now." I kept crying, feeling relief that I could share the pain. "Would you like to share with me the dream that you had tonight?" He asked. I nodded my head, _yes_.


	5. Chapter 5

losing it all ch 5 ****

LOSING IT ALL

BY: Ti'kara

CHAPTER 5

**Two weeks later** we were in the Delta Quadrant. Don't ask me how, it's a very long story. There was this array, and a being called the Caretaker, the Ocampa and some species called the Kazon. Also there was a Federation Starship called Voyager. What with one thing and the other, you know battles and all, the Liberty was destroyed and we ended up on Voyager, stranded. Captain Janeway, Voyager's Captain, destroyed the Array and our only way home, which meant we were also stranded in the Delta Quadrant. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that yet. Anyway here I am, sitting in my new quarters, wondering what the heck is going on. These quarters are a lot bigger than the ones on the Liberty;

I'll say that for them. What in the world am I going to do here? I can't imagine there is much demand for a 15-year old girl on a Starfleet vessel.

**Meanwhile, in the** Captain's ready room, Janeway and Chakotay were going over the list of his former crew. "Commander, I don't understand this entry. Ishaia Mintaka, 15 years old, female, species Inari. You had a 15 year old in your crew?"

"No," he responded. "We rescued Ishaia from the Cardassians who had illegally seized her ship and killed the crew. She was the only survivor." He proceeded to tell Janeway about how Ishaia came to be on the Liberty.

"Ok, I understand," Janeway sighed. "The question is what are we going to do with a teenager on board?"

"Might I suggest we use her skills." Chakotay replied. 

"Use her how? She's only fifteen after all." Janeway was exasperated. How was she supposed to mold this rag, tag group into a team, a crew?

Chakotay explained just how he thought Ishaia might prove useful. Captain Janeway found herself slowly nodding her head. It might just be feasible. That is if this child could control herself and obey orders. From what she remembered of her teenage years she had her doubts. She would talk to Tuvok and get his assessment of the girl and then talk to the girl herself.

After talking to Tuvok, who had merely stated that it was too soon to tell and advised caution, Janeway called Ishaia to her ready room. "Janeway to Ishaia"

"Yes, Captain," I responded, what could the Captain want with me, I wondered.

"Please report to my ready room."

"Yes sir," I replied, "Ummm, how do I get there?"

"There is a layout of the entire ship in the ship's computer." Janeway replied, "if you have any problems ask a crew member."

"Yes, sir."

"And, Ishaia, don't call me sir, I prefer Captain."

"Uh, yes Captain."

I tried looking up the location of the ready room but found I had a problem. It hadn't really hit home until now. I was stranded, more than 70,000 light years from my home. There was no one here like me and I couldn't even read the language. This was too much! Pounding the table with my fist, I said a few choice words under my breath. Finally taking a deep breath I contacted Chakotay. 

Chakotay stopped outside Ishaia's quarters, waiting for the computer to notify her he was here. She had sounded very upset. The door opened and he entered the room. "Hi, Ishaia, what can I do for you?" He asked.

"Chakotay…uh…Commander…" I stumbled over what I should call him. Starfleet sounded a lot more like the ADF than the Maquis had.

"We're alone Ishaia, call me Chakotay," he said, "now what's up?"

"Well, it's just that I've realized I'm the only Inari on Voyager or in the Delta Quadrant for that matter."

"There are many of us in the same boat, Ishaia." He acknowledged.

"Yes, I know, but…it's not quite the same. I mean…"

"Spit it out, Ishaia," he said somewhat impatiently.

"What?" I questioned, thoroughly confused. "I don't understand."

Chakotay smiled, "I mean, just say it."

"Oh, well ok, I was trying to look up how to get to the Captain's ready room, and well I found out something. I mean it shouldn't have been a surprise, but somehow it was." I pointed to the screen; "I can't read it."

Chakotay looked at the screen then back at me and slowly nodded his head. "It should have been obvious, but I didn't think of that either. You don't read or speak Federation Standard, or any of the other languages used in the Federation. We'll just have to work up a translation program for the computer so that you can read the screens."

I nodded, "I can learn your language fairly quickly by listening and seeing the pictures in your mind that go with the words. But it doesn't work that way with reading."

"Well, we will just have to teach you. Somehow I don't think lack of time will be a problem. Now where were you headed?" 

"Oh no, I nearly forgot, the Captain's waiting on me. I'm supposed to report to her ready room." I said agitatedly.

"Come on," he spoke calmly, "I'll take you."

**Entering the bridge**, I looked curiously around. The colors were more subdued than the E'shayla and the layout different. To the right of me Tuvok stood at a console and to the left another man stood at a similar console. On a lower level, there were two chairs and below them what looked like the helm. To the right of the helm was another station. Everything faced what I assumed was a viewscreen. Chakotay led me to a door on the second level by Tuvok's station. After a moment the door opened.

I entered the room. Captain Janeway nodded and said, "thank you, Commander, that'll be all." He left. I looked at the woman who now controlled my existence. She wore the same reddish uniform Chakotay had had on, only her insignia was different. I stood at attention, the way Manua had taught me.

"Ishaia Mintaka reporting as ordered, sir…I mean Captain." I said crisply.

"At ease, Ishaia." She smiled. "Why don't we sit over here where we can talk?" The Captain led me to a sofa and suggested I sit down. "Since you're going to be on my ship for a while, I thought it would be nice to get to know each other a little." I nodded, but said nothing. I was too nervous to pry my lips apart. "It must be quite a shock to you to find yourself suddenly in the Delta Quadrant on a Starfleet vessel. How are you adjusting?" She continued.

"Fine, Captain." I bit my tongue again. Why couldn't I say anything? Why was I so tongue-tied? It wasn't as if I'd never been around a Captain before.

Janeway looked at the girl sitting so quietly on her couch. She saw a petite, young girl, well almost a woman actually, with pretty auburn hair and deep sapphire blue eyes. She had a crest of bone from one temple, going around the back of her head to the other temple and wore a simple deep blue jumper. Her eyes were steady with just a hint of nervousness. "Commander Chakotay has told me that you were raised on a starship. Tell me about some of your experiences."

I explained to her about the Alliance and the ADF, their purposes and so on. "And what about school? What did you study?" I answered her questions as best I could, explaining about my life on the E'shayla. "So you must understand about the necessity for discipline and obeying orders aboard a starship?" The Captain questioned.

"Yes, Captain. My mother always said that living on a starship was a privilege, not a right and if you couldn't obey the rules you shouldn't be there." Janeway nodded. She liked everything that she'd heard so far. This girl seemed self-controlled. It was obvious that she understood the rules governing starship life. But, could she control herself in a crisis? That was the real question. There was only one way to tell, and that was to wait and see.

"Very well, Ishaia, I've enjoyed talking to you. That will be all for now." The Captain dismissed me.

"Yes, Captain, thank you." I left the room and headed for the turbolift.

**"Ensign Kim** to Ishaia Mintaka." I heard a voice over the comm.

"Ishaia here."

"Commander Chakotay wants you to work with me on a translation program for the computer. When would be a good time?"

"Well my schedule isn't exactly bursting, so I guess anytime is fine with me."

"Meet me at the bridge's auxiliary science station at 1500 hours."

"Understood, Ensign. I'll be there." At 1500 hours I entered the bridge, looking for the science station.

"Ensign Kim is over there." Tuvok informed me, motioning to my left. 

I nodded, "thank you." Walking over to the science station I saw a young man with black hair. Kind of cute, really. "Ensign Kim?" 

He straightened, "Ishaia?" I nodded. "We need to input into the computer the Inari written characters for certain basic concepts; such as, mathematical concepts and basic ideas; such as, sun, moon and stars." I nodded and we bent over the computer concentrating on our task.

We had been working for at least an hour when someone said, "Captain, an unidentified ship is approaching our position at warp four."

"How long before it reaches us?"

"At it's current speed eight minutes, Captain."

"Hail them." Janeway ordered.

"Aye, hailing frequencies open."

"This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager."

"Duvrain of the Iilgead Order. We are curious, as we have never seen a ship of this design before. Where are you from?" He was a very little man, with large tufts of purplish hair sprouting from different places on his head. His nose was long and hooked and he had light lavender skin.

Suddenly, I became aware of a sense of foreboding, of danger. Something was wrong. I let down my shields casting about for the source of the danger and instantly I gasped. "Captain, put up the shields, **NOW!"** I said as firmly as I could. Captain Janeway glared over at me and shook her head. I ignored her. I knew I was right. "**CAPTAIN… NOW… PLEASE…COMMANDER!"** The Captain looked at Chakotay who barely nodded his head, yes. "Do it!" She ordered.

"Shields u…" The ship was rocked with weapons fire. I was knocked out of my chair. Ensign Kim helped me back into my seat before heading for his station at Ops. 

"Damage report." Snapped the Captain.

"Minimal damage, shields down to 90%," replied Ensign Kim. 

"Hail them," the Captain ordered.

"No response," Tuvok reported calmly.

"What do they want?" Janeway mused.

"Voyager," I answered. Captain Janeway frowned at me, "stay out of this Ishaia." Chakotay leaned over and said something into the Captain's ear. She nodded. The ship rocked again and then shied violently. "Battlestations. Charge all weapons systems. Lock onto their weapons systems and fire when ready."

"Firing." Reported Tuvok. "Minimal effect. Their shots however are penetrating our shields without any difficulty." The ship rocked again and a panel exploded.

"Captain…" I exclaimed. But she cut me off.

"Engineering "

"Engineering here, Lt. Carey"

"Divert power from all but essential systems to the shields."

"Captain, that's not going to work." I stated emphatically.

"Get her off my bridge, now! Janeway commanded. Commander Chakotay put a hand on my shoulder and asked me what I meant. I told him. His face looked grim, as he motioned me toward the turbolift. Chakotay walked up to the Captain and leaned close to her ear saying; "they are using self-modulating phasic weapons. The weapons automatically change their frequencies, harmonics, and phase variances to match Voyager's shields. Therefore they cut right through our shields like a knife through butter. 

"Ishaia," the Captain said as I was heading to the turbolift. "How do we counteract these weapons?" I closed my eyes, focusing on the other ship.

Slowly I shook my head, "I don't know, Captain. No one is thinking about how to stop the weapons."

"Let me know if you get anything else." Janeway ordered. I grabbed onto a console to keep from falling as the ship quivered with another blow. I forced myself to concentrate on the minds of the Iilgead. It wasn't easy. The ship continued to shake and rock as shot after shot hit home. 

Damage and injury reports were coming in from all over the ship. "Evasive action, Beta 7-3, Lieutenant." Lt. Paris brought the starship into a steep dive. "Tuvok, try setting our shields to automatically rotate frequencies, harmonics and phase variances. Keep it random, don't let them have time to respond."

"Aye, Captain."

"Engineering to Bridge."

"Go ahead," answered the first officer.

"We've just lost the warp drive."

"Understood"

"Captain," reported Tuvok. "The new shield rotations are working. The enemy's shots are no longer penetrating the shields. Captain Janeway nodded her head. That was good news anyway. 

"Target the weapons system and concentrate all weapons at that location."

"Locked on," Tuvok stated calmly.

"Fire."

"Firing, direct hit. Damage to the primary weapons array." Without warning the Iilgead ship made a graceful arc and sped away from Voyager.

"Now I wonder what that was all about," Janeway muttered.

"With all due respect, Captain, I'd bet Ishaia could tell you if you'd let her." Chakotay spoke softly so no one else would hear. "She has some unique and useful abilities."

"Proceed with the repairs. I want a meeting of the senior officers in one hour," she looked at me, "Ishaia I want you there, also. "Commander, you have the bridge."

"Aye Captain," Chakotay responded.

"Yes Captain," I said.

**An hour later** I hesitantly approached the conference room by the bridge. I wonder why the Captain wants me here. It's not like I'm a member of the crew. In fact, she thinks I'm just a kid. She wouldn't listen to me but when Chakotay told her the same thing she believed it. I reached the door and stood beside it, eyeing it warily.

"It won't bite you know." I jumped, whirling around to find a blond haired human, the helmsman, standing behind me.

"I know," I said, "I'm just wondering what the Captain wants."

"I don't know, but there is one thing I do know. You won't find out while standing out here." He joked. He stepped in front of the door and it slid open. "After you."

I entered the briefing room, looking around nervously. I saw Chakotay standing near the head of a horseshoe shaped table. Tuvok sat across from him. I didn't recognize any of the other people. I looked over at Chakotay with what must have been a pleading look, because he said, "Over here, Ishaia," motioning to the chair next to him. I walked over and sat down. About that time Ensign Kim walked in. Commander Chakotay introduced me to everyone and then Captain Janeway entered, walking to the head of the table.

"I want a full report on this encounter with the Iilgead. First, Tuvok why didn't the sensors pick up active weapons?" The Captain asked

"I do not know, Captain. There were no weapons signatures when Ishaia insisted we raise the shields. I've checked the sensor logs and there was an energy surge a micosecond before they fired. It does not have a weapons signature."

"Ishaia, do you know?" Asked the Commander.

"How would a child know?" Commented Lt. Carey. Chakotay threw a look at him.

"Yes Ishaia, please explain how you knew the Iilgead were going to fire on us." The Captain questioned.

"Well," I looked tensely about. I didn't really like making reports to a group. Chakotay looked at me and gave me a wink. I smiled, "I sensed danger and so I lowered my shields to see where it was coming from."

Lt. Carey frowned, "You sensed? What is she, a telepath?" I looked at him, surprised. He sounded as though he didn't like telepaths. 

"Mmmm, yes, well the Iilgead commander was thinking about how perfect this tactic works. Getting the target ship off guard with gestures of friendship and then taking the ship when it is unprepared. They want new technology but they don't want to take the time to invent and develop it themselves. They attacked us because they saw technology which they didn't have but which they could use. The ability to adjust their weapons to match the targets shield frequencies allows them to capture ships quickly. When Captain Janeway countered that tactic and it became obvious they would have a battle on their hands they broke off the attack. They use hit and run tactics. They try to avoid a prolonged battle if at all possible." I explained.

"Actually, it was Ishaia who told us why the Iilgead's weapons were penetrating the shields. We would have suffered a lot more damage and maybe been boarded if she hadn't made such a quick report of her findings. Does anyone else have anything to report?" She looked around the table, "no? Then dismissed."

"Commander, Ishaia, please wait." Chakotay and I stood aside waiting for the room to clear. I looked up at him.

"What do you think she wants with me?" I whispered.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure there is nothing wrong." He whispered back. 

"Commander, Ishaia, have a seat." Captain Janeway said. 

"Captain, I'm sorry I…" 

The Captain held up her hand, "there is nothing for you to be sorry about. You had information that was imperative for me to know and you insisted on reporting it one way or another. I admire your persistence. The Commander told me of your coolness under fire and of your telepathic abilities, but when you demonstrated both I was too engrossed in the situation to pay attention.

"Commander Chakotay had a suggestion on how you could help us. After that little demonstration, I find myself agreeing with him. I'd like you to act as an advisor whenever we make first contact. Your telepathic abilities should help prevent surprises like this last one. Also, in any dealings with other species they should help avert misunderstandings. Would you be willing to take that position, Ishaia?" Captain Janeway smiled.

I nodded, "yes, Captain. I'd like to help anyway that I can."

"Good. Commander, I'd like you to set up Ishaia's studies. The basic subjects that she still needs, as well as starting her on academy subjects. Start her with Starfleet regulations."

"Right away, Captain," Commander Chakotay replied, smiling. 


	6. Chapter 6

****

LOSING IT ALL

BY: Ti'kara

CHAPTER 6 

**Chakotay and I** left the briefing room together. Walking toward the turbolift, I started thinking about all the changes in my life. Everything was happening so fast that it was frightening. Chakotay placed a hand on my shoulder, "are you all right?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know," I replied quietly. Chakotay looked at me perceptively.

"Would you like to talk?"

"You must be tired. I'll be all right."

"That's not what I asked," he responded. "Would you like to talk?"

"Maybe later, right now I'd just like to go to sleep."

"Ok, I'll see you later, good night, Ishaia." Chakotay went off down another corridor.

I entered the turbolift, "deck 8," I told the computer. I entered my quarters, looking around, surprised again by their spaciousness. Would I ever get used to the luxury on this ship, I wondered? After getting ready for bed, I climbed in, turned off the lights and tried to go to sleep.

Suddenly, I woke up, my heart racing. Darn, why did I always have to have that same dream? Why couldn't I just put it behind me? I wrapped my arms around my legs and buried my face in my knees. Shaking, I tried to turn my mind to something else, but it was like trying to corral a Larsur Multae. In one word, impossible. I started to cry, again.

I thought about what Chakotay had said, about calling him anytime. I knew he meant it after we had communicated telepathically, but I hated to bother him in the middle of the night. Trembling, my mind in a turmoil, I realized that I really didn't care. I needed to talk to him. Still crying I said, "Ishaia to Chakotay."

After a moment he replied sleepily, "Chakotay here, what is it Ishaia."

"I…I…oh…never mind." I wailed, rolling into a little ball. I realized that I was just too churned up. I knew he would come if I asked, but there was a part of me that was afraid he wouldn't and I couldn't stand it if he didn't. I know it didn't make any sense, but I wasn't feeling particularly logical at the time.

A few minutes later, the door chimed. I ignored it. I was crying too hard to say anything. I felt utterly miserable, lost and alone. I knew that I had locked the door, so no one was going to be walking in on me.

**Chakotay stood** outside Ishaia's door waiting for her to answer. He knew that she was very upset, had known it when they'd left the briefing room. He had fully expected her to call him sooner or later. He was surprised, however, that she wasn't answering the door. He pressed the controls to open the door, but the door was secured. 

He pressed his combadge, "Chakotay to Ishaia." There was no answer. "Ishaia, answer me. Unlock the door." Still nothing. "Ishaia…computer, override door lock authorization Chakotay Gamma two three." The door slid open. He entered the room to pitch-blackness. "Computer, lights." He could hear the sobs from here. She was crying like her heart was going to break.

He walked quickly to the bedroom and saw Ishaia lying on the bed curled into a ball. "Ishaia," he said softly as he sat on the bed. Placing his hand on her shoulder he patted it gently.

I'd heard him come in and really felt relief. I was crying so hard that I felt I would never be able to stop. "Come here, Ishaia," Chakotay coaxed. He carefully rolled me onto my back. "Stop crying here all by yourself." I sat up, leaned my head against his chest and just bawled. Chakotay held me tenderly, "sh, sh, it's going to be all right, Ishaia. Everything's going to be all right. You're not alone and you're not going to be alone."

I choked back the tears. I had to explain what was tearing me apart. "It's…ju…st that…everything's gone. My home, family, every…thing. I'll never be home again." I stammered through the tears.

"I know, Ishaia." He replied understandingly. "But you are not alone. You have a new family now. I know that that's not much consolation right now. But it will help. Voyager's your home now and the crew your family. It will take time but you will adjust. I'm here for you just like I told you on the Lib…" I sat up abruptly. Something was not right. I concentrated, trying to still my troubled mind. There was someone here, someone in the room with us. "Ishaia?" I held up my hand, searching with my mind.

"Someone's here, Chakotay," I said. 

"What do you mean?" Commander Chakotay asked sharply. Immediately switching to command mode.

"There's a presence here."

"Describe it."

I shook my head, "I'm not sure." I hesitated; "It's different from anything I've ever felt before…"My mind was in too much confusion to focus. Suddenly I gasped, grabbing my head. I could feel the presence pressing against my mind. Trying to enter my thoughts. I quickly tried to raise my shields but the presence was strong and fought back.

"Chakotay!" I cried out as everything went black.

**"Chakotay to the** bridge, medical emergency," Commander Chakotay snapped, "two to beam directly to sickbay."

"Yes sir." The transporter took effect and Chakotay and Ishaia arrived in sickbay.

Chakotay picked up Ishaia, placing her on the bio bed. "Computer activate Emergency Medical Holographic Program."

"Please state the nature of the medical emergency," the EMH intoned. Chakotay hastily explained what had happened.

"Chakotay to Security, intruder alert, deck 8, section C-12. Captain Janeway report to sickbay we have a situation." Smoothly the ship's crew responded to the emergency. Tuvok and the Captain arrived in sickbay almost simultaneously. 

"Report," said the Captain crisply. Chakotay swiftly explained what had happened.

Going over to the doctor, Captain Janeway asked about Ishaia's condition. "I don't know, Captain. She appears to be in a coma, but why or how I can't explain yet. Her anatomy is completely unknown to me."

"That is probably because she is Inari." The Captain told him.

"I have never heard of the Inari." Stated the EMH emphatically. "Is she a guest on board."

"No," the Captain replied, "she's a crew member. She came aboard with the Maquis."

"No one ever tells me anything," grumbled the doctor. "Do we have any medical records on her?"

"No," answered Commander Chakotay, "they were destroyed."

"Well, does anyone know ANYTHING? Never mind, just leave and let me work." Growled the EMH.

"Notify me when you know anything," ordered the Captain.

**In the Captain's** ready room, Janeway and Chakotay were discussing the situation. The door chimed. "Come in," intoned the Captain. Tuvok entered the room.

"The search has been completed. No intruder has been found." Reported Tuvok "Are you sure about Ishaia's accuracy, Commander?" Janeway asked.

"Yes," stated Chakotay emphatically. "She was quite disturbed. It was shortly after she became aware of the presence that she appeared to be attacked and became unconscious."

"EMH to the Captain."

"Go ahead."

"I think you'd better come to sickbay."

"I'm on my way. Commander, Lieutenant, come with me." 

Upon entering sickbay the EMH stated, "The girl is in a deep coma. Her psilosynine levels are greatly elevated." 

"What does that indicate, doctor?" Asked the Captain.

"I would say that her telepathic centers are extremely active. However, the rest of her systems are shutting down. There are several brain chemicals that I can't even identify. Also, there is an internal organ I've never seen before. I can't even begin to guess at its purpose."

"Could the brain chemicals have anything to do with psychokinetic abilities?" Asked the Vulcan.

"They could. They might be neurotransmitters involved with the propagation of the electrical energy involved." Responded the EMH.

"What would you suggest, doctor?" Queried Janeway.

"If we were in the Alpha Quadrant, I'd suggest a telepathic healer. Here, however…"

"Would a Vulcan mind-meld possibly help?" The Captain asked.

"That might be a possible solution, but, it could also be dangerous." Answered the EMH. "The battle that appears to be going on in Ishaia's mind could also damage any mind coming into contact with it."

"Tuvok?" The Captain looked at the Lt.. The Vulcan slowly nodded.

"I would be willing to attempt it."

"I must protest, the procedure could be extremely dangerous."

"Noted, doctor," snapped Janeway.

****

"My mind to your mind…my thoughts to your thoughts," intoned Tuvok. Unexpectedly, he was thrown back, breaking the connection. Chakotay caught him, holding him upright while he recovered his bearings.

"Tuvok?" Inquired the Captain. "Are you all right?"

"I am fine, Captain. Ishaia is in an intense telepathic battle with an unknown entity. I will attempt to make contact again. Perhaps together we can purge the alien mind." Walking back to the bio bed Tuvok replaced his hands on Ishaia's head and reformed the meld. _Ishaia_, Tuvok attempted to contact her. _Ishaia, focus your thoughts_. _Concentrate on the feel of your own mind._

Tuvok? Is that you? Help me. I'm…los…ing…

Focus your thoughts. Do not let fear control you.

The Captain and first officer watched anxiously, waiting for the procedure to finish. The EMH stood by observing the diagnostic readouts. Abruptly the doctor rushed into motion. "Vital signs are failing. 20 mg. Tricordrazine." He ordered, holding out his hand. Looking quickly around, he realized that no one was handing him the hypospray. He reached quickly over to the instrument tray, picked up the hypo and administered it to Ishaia. 

I was fighting for control of my mind and I was losing. The entity or life force was slowly taking control of my mind. Breaking through the barriers. When Tuvok's mind had contacted mine I knew that I was not going to be successful. _Tuvok, I need to add your_ _strength to mine, to combine our minds. Will you let me? _I thought.

Tuvok was concentrating on the entity. He could perceive it like seeing the outline of a person through a curtain. Blackness, darkness, that was what was there, and a light in the distance. A light that was fading. _Yes_. He gave permission. 

I wove our minds together like a weaver weaving cloth. Plaiting them together into a single bonded entity. I hadn't tried this since my teacher on the E'shayla had taught me. She had shown me how to combine the strength of two minds. 

Prepared now, I sent a spear of thought deep into the darkness in my mind. It stood out like a ray of light in the surrounding blackness, plunging and searching deeper. It sought out the malignancy that was attacking my mind. Pressing forward, I slowly pushed the alien presence out of my mind.

The doctor waved the medical scanner over me. I was aware of him, of everyone. Gradually I separated my mind from Tuvok's. I lay there on the bio bed, knowing that it would take me awhile to recover. I was still apprehensive; I had never felt anything like that before.

Tuvok sagged, as his hands fell by his side. Janeway and Chakotay helped him to a chair. "Are you all right, Tuvok?" Asked the Captain with concern. 

Tuvok raised his hand, "give me a moment, Captain." After a minute he began to tell them everything that had happened. "I am fascinated by Ishaia's telepathic abilities. She used a technique of which I have never been aware before."

"But the entity is gone," asked the Commander.

"Yes, Commander."

****

Slowly I opened my eyes, flinching from the bright lights overhead. "Oh so you're awake, good," said a voice somewhere off to my left. This had happened before and it all came flooding back. I cried out, trying to roll away from the voice. CRASH! I fell off the bed. Scrambling, I tried to get to my feet, but a wave of dizziness assailed me.

"There, what do you think you're doing? Stop crawling around sickbay and get back onto the bio bed." Said the grumpy voice.

"Keep away from me!" I hollered, totally disoriented. "Just go away." I felt a hand on my arm and pulled violently away. "Don't touch me!" I tried to scramble further away and ended up under a console.

A few minutes later, I heard a different voice. "Ishaia," it was Chakotay. "You're ok," he said. "You're safe now, come out from under there." His voice was gentle but there was a note to it that told me he wasn't kidding. I looked up to see him holding his hand out to me. "Come on." I reached out and took his hand and he helped me up.

The dizziness hit again and I swayed. Chakotay put his arm around me and helped me back to the bio bed. "This is the Emergency Medical Holographic Program, he told me."

"The what?" I asked confused.

He laughed and explained about the EMH. He also told me about what had happened and said that the Captain had some questions for me. "Do you think you could answer them now? We'd really like to know what's going on."

"I can try. But, I think you know as much as I do." I responded dryly.

"Not now," grouched the EMH. "I have some tests I need to do and then I have some questions about Inari biology and anatomy."

"You can do the tests while we talk, doctor," said the Captain as she entered sickbay.

****

I explained what had happened as best as I could. "What did the entity want?" queried Janeway.

"I don't know," I answered her. "I was too busy to ask." I spoke a little scornfully.

"Ishaia," warned Chakotay.

"Sorry, Captain. It's just that when you're fighting for your life you don't take time to ask for ID." I saw that Chakotay was about to say something again, "No disrespect intended, Captain. I'm still a little off balance." I cut in quickly.

"What can you tell us about the composition of this entity? Is it a life form, a life force, non-corporeal?"

"I really don't know, Captain. All I can tell you right now is that it is definitely telepathic. It is also dark and malevolent. But what it wants or why it attacked me, I don't know and I can't begin to guess. And frankly, I hope I never have the 'pleasure' of finding out." I felt the tears starting to threaten and I hoped she'd just leave, before I totally disgraced myself.

The Captain seemed to know that I was at the end of my rope, because she patted me on the shoulder and told me to get some rest. "Let me know if you think of anything else, Ishaia."

"Yes, Captain," I whispered.

"Commander, stay with her. She might remember something and I want to know as soon as she does. You seem to have a close rapport with her, maybe she'll recall more without all the pressure."

"Aye Captain."

****

"How are you feeling, Ishaia," Chakotay asked me.

"Better, Commander," I said. "I'm…sorry I fell apart."

"Don't worry about it." The EMH butted in wanting to know details about my physiology. I rolled my eyes and sighed. I wasn't exactly an expert.

An hour later, the doctor sent me to my quarters. Chakotay walked with me. We entered my quarters, "Ishaia, I want to talk to you. The way that you spoke to the Captain is unacceptable."

"She didn't seem to mind," I said.

"Well, I mind," he said resolutely. "I don't think that your Manua would have tolerated that tone and I know that I won't."

"Don't you think that Captain Janeway would have said something if there had been a problem?" I asked saucily.

"That's enough, Ishaia," he said succinctly. "I am not speaking to you as a friend but as the first officer of this ship. I expect you to speak to the Captain, in fact to all-senior officers, with due respect at all times. If you don't, you will have to deal with me. Is that understood?" 

"Chakotay…"

"Commander," he interposed.

"Commander," I substituted, "I didn't mean anything…"

"IS THAT UNDERSTOOD!" He asked with authority.

"Yes, sir," I answered crisply. I looked at my hands and then back at him. "I didn't mean to be disrespectful," I said softly. "I guess I'm just a little upset about all this."

His face softened, "all what, Ishaia?"

"Being stuck in the Delta Quadrant, on a very strange ship and with people I don't even know. I won't ever see Inar again and though I know that Manua would still be dead no matter where I was, I somehow feel like she's…well…I guess I'm not making any sense…"

"No, Ishaia, I understand what you're trying…" he broke off, looking at me curious. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure?" I answered, uncertainly. "There's something…something here."

"The entity?" Chakotay asked alertly.

I shook my head, "I can't tell…it's…" Chakotay pressed his combadge and spoke to the Captain.

"I'll be right there," she said. I shook my head while focusing my mind outward. I kept my shields up, opening a tunnel that I could slam shut instantly if necessary.

"It's gone," I said softly.

"Are you sure there was anything there?" He asked.

I nodded, "Mmmm, yes, I'm sure. But, what it was I couldn't say." The door chimed. 

"Come in," invited Chakotay. The Captain entered my quarters.

"Report."


	7. Chapter 7

losing it all ch 7 ****

LOSING IT ALL

BY: Ti'kara

CHAPTER 7 

**I languidly stretched**, opening my eyes and looking around the room. The room was shrouded in darkness. "Computer, lights." The room brightened and I slowly sat up. Padding across to the bathroom I'm turned on the sonic shower, got undressed and stepped in. 

After my shower, I slipped into an Inari outfit I had replicated. The top was long, to the knees, with a high collar and long sleeves. A pair of pants stopped at the ankles. It was deep, sapphire blue to match my eyes. I twisted my hair and clipped it up off my neck. I then headed for the mess hall.

Entering the mess hall, I walked over to where Neelix was cooking, picking up a plate. "Good morning," Neelix said brightly. "What would you like?" I took some food and looked around for a place to sit. Walking over to a table, I sat down. I looked out the porthole at the stars, watching them go by.

"Is this seat taken?" I looked up to see Ensign Kim standing beside the table. I shook my head motioning to the seat.

"Have a seat, Ensign."

"Harry," he said, sitting down.

I smiled, "Harry." I went back to looking at the stars. 

"Anybody there?" Asked a voice. I looked around; noticing for the first time that Lt. Paris had joined us. 

"What?" I asked, not sure what he meant?

"You look a million kilometers away." He explained.

"Umm, more like the Alpha Quadrant," I responded.

He nodded, "I think most of us are thinking of the Alpha Quadrant." 

**I suddenly looked** off, not listening anymore. I felt the presence again. Without warning it attacked once more, this time telekinetically. I was slammed against the wall. I shook my head as stars whirled. Looking around, I saw other crewmembers standing around, open-mouthed. Lt. Paris helped me up asking, "What happened?"

"Call security," I gasped, not sure what they could do, if anything. I tried looking around, but couldn't see anything except people. Suddenly a chair came flying at me. I saw it out of the corner of my eye. Moving my hand swiftly, I sent another chair soaring into its path. I started choking. It felt as though someone was wrapping his hands around my throat.

Security entered the mess hall, phasers drawn. Looking around, they failed to see anything wrong, except for a young girl who looked like she was unable to breathe. Using my mind, I reached out and tried to disable the entity. I extended my mind; struggling with the entity locked in battle.

The pressure around my throat eased. Abruptly I drew a shaky breath. Weakened, I slid down the wall to the floor. A security officer knelt beside me, "Are you all right?"

"Commander Chakotay," I whispered. My throat felt raw. A minute later I looked up to see Chakotay kneeling next to me.

"Are you ok, Ishaia?" He asked concerned.

I nodded, "I think so."

"What happened?" I told him what had happened.

"I want you to tell the Captain," and he held out his hand.

**"Enter," said Janeway**. Chakotay and I walked into the ready room. The Commander told the Captain about what had happened in the mess hall. I then explained in more detail. Janeway nodded her head, thoughtful. "What do you think we can do about this?" She questioned.

I shook my head. That was one thing I didn't know. It seemed to me that only a telepath had a chance of doing anything, and I hadn't exactly shined. "Tuvok, report to my ready room." The door chimed. "Come in." Tuvok entered the room.

"Yes, Captain." She explained what had occurred. "Do you have any ideas."

"Perhaps some Vulcan meditation exercises would help Ishaia to focus and hone her telepathic abilities." He said. "I would be willing to work with her."

The Captain nodded, "Ishaia?"

"Sure, Captain," I answered, "I don't have any better ideas, in fact, I don't have any ideas at all." 

"Very well, first I want the doctor to check you out, then if the doctor says it's all right you can start working with Lt. Tuvok."

"Captain, I'm ok…"

Captain Janeway held up her hand, "I'd rather have the doctor confirm that, Ishaia. Commander, escort her to sickbay."

Commander Chakotay nodded and motioned to the door. I preceded him onto the bridge. I looked over at him as we entered the turbolift.

"Chakotay," I said as the turbolift doors shut.

He held up his hand, "sickbay." He turned toward me, "Yes, Ishaia?"

"I'm frightened. This thing keeps coming after me and I don't know what to do."

"I know, Ishaia. Just remember that you're not alone. The crew is doing everything it can to help." Tears started to form in my eyes. He put his hand on my shoulder; "We will get you through this."

**That evening**, after a session with Tuvok, I sat back in the big overstuffed chair in my quarters. Thinking back to the meditation exercises, I wondered if I would have time to actually learn them. "Ishaia report to the bridge."

I slapped my combadge; "I'm on my way." I hurriedly exited my quarters. Entering the bridge I stepped down to the command deck, "Yes Captain."

"An alien vessel is approaching. I'd like you to scan them telepathically as we discussed."

"Yes Captain." Commander Chakotay motioned me to the small seat beside him. 

"The ship is in visual range."

"On screen."

I opened my mind focusing on the alien minds. The alien commander introduced himself as a member of the B'ne, Actuen Ceelus. He suggested a cultural exchange. The Captain glanced at me and I nodded. There was nothing hidden here.

I intended to keep listening, but everything suddenly went dead. Or at least it went dead in my mind, replaced by a frightening rumble that grew into a primal scream. It was so awful that I covered my ears and bent over, my torso between my knees. But I kept my eyes open-which was a terrible mistake, because the deck beneath my feet was ripping apart, revealing a pool of blackness.

Screaming, I struggled to escape from the rift opening at my feet, but demonic hands grabbed me. The Captain and Chakotay bent over me. "Ishaia," said Chakotay, "Ishaia, what is it." Vaguely I heard him, but couldn't seem to respond. I fought to cast the entity out of my mind. Struggling, I gradually managed to force it out.

Looking up, I saw Chakotay's concerned face looking down on me. Behind him, I saw a dark shape, hovering. "There is an alien presence here," I whispered. 

"Describe it," said Captain Janeway. "Why is it here?"

"To…" I began. A bolt of energy struck me violently. I went rigid. Rolling over, I struggled to my feet. Tuvok pulled out his phaser, pointing it at the shadow. Apparently the others could see it also. I extended my hand; firing miniature lightening bolts back. The creature assaulted my mind, while continuing to fire the energy bolts at me. The battle continued, both of us shooting the bolts. The bridge was criss-crossed with energy beams. All of a sudden, the entity left. Bridge consoles were smoking and one was on fire.

Gripping my side, I staggered to my knees. The pain engulfed me, and I felt utterly drained. I felt an arm around me and I looked over at Chakotay. The Captain knelt in front of me, watching. I sagged against Chakotay, the room spinning. "Get her to sickbay," snapped the Captain. Chakotay picked me up and walked to the turbolift. Tuvok came in behind us. 

**"Computer, activate** the Emergency Medical Holographic Program." The Commander laid me on the bio bed. I was beginning to feel that I was living here. 

"Please state the nature of the medical emergency." The doctor came over to me, running a medical scanner over my body.

"She's suffered second and third degree burns and shock." The pain was intense and I moaned, reaching out for Chakotay. Taking my hand, he said, "Take it easy, Ishaia, the doctor is taking care of you." I nodded, trying to focus. I realized that I needed to enter metabolic regeneration. Centering myself, I concentrated on slowing my metabolism. Turning my mind inward, my metabolism slowed and I focused on my injuries. 

Chakotay watched the vital signs on the monitor plummet. "Doctor?" He said anxiously. The EMH noted the monitor, running a scanner over her. After a few minutes her vital signs read zero. "Doctor!" Chakotay practically shouted.

"The cellular degradation rate is less than .004%," he announced. She has entered a metabolic regenerative state. It is a natural healing process of the Inari. They slow their metabolism to such a slow rate that it does not register on scans. You have to go by the rate of cellular decay, to determine death."

"Then she is not dead?" Queried Chakotay. 

"She is not dead," confirmed the EMH.

"Are you going to treat her?"

"That is not necessary, the injuries are not life threatening at this time. Under the circumstances, it is better to let nature take its course. Inari biology is extremely sensitive to artificial medications. I'd rather not risk it if it is not necessary to preserve her life. The first rule of medicine is, 'first, do no harm.'"

**"Commander Chakotay** report to the bridge."

He pressed his combadge; "I'm on my way." He left sickbay, "keep me informed, doctor."

Entering the bridge, he walked over to his chair, "Captain?" He questioned.

"Actuen Ceelus of the B'ne will be coming aboard. With all that's been going on, I want you on the bridge."

"Aye, Captain."

"I'll be with the Actuen. How is Ishaia?" The Commander told her about Ishaia's condition. Janeway nodded, "keep me informed." She exited the bridge.

**Over the next** few hours, Captain Janeway showed the B'ne around Voyager. Entering the mess hall, the Captain was explaining the purpose of the mess hall.

"This is very interesting," the Actuen said, "my people do not interact in this way." Without warning a crewmember grabbed his head and screamed, before collapsing, unconscious on the floor. Janeway rushed over to him, checking his pulse. Slapping her combadge, she snapped, "medical emergency, one to transport to sickbay."

"Neelix, take over." Leaving the B'ne with Neelix, the Captain rushed to sickbay. As she entered, she noticed the EMH working feverishly over the injured crewman. Kes was helping him. "Report."

"He is in neural metaphasic shock. Neural stimulator," he snapped. Kes slapped the instrument into his hand. "Readings?"

Kes glanced at the physiosensor, "synaptic functions failing, doctor."

"Neural stimulator," the doctor ordered. "Activate." Kes operated the controls. "Again…again." The doctor ran a scanner over the still form. "I'm sorry, Captain, the damage was too severe. There was nothing I could do."

Over the next hours, sickbay filled up with more injured crew. The doctor sent the less severely affected personnel to their quarter outfitted with neurocortical monitors. Those were very few.

Captain Janeway was practically frantic. She forced herself to focus totally on saving her crew. There had to be some explanation for what was happening, but what? 

"Captain, please activate your Emergency Medical Holographic Channel."

"Yes, doctor." She replied.

"Ishaia is recovering consciousness."

"I'm on my way. Chakotay report to sickbay."

"On my way," the Commander replied. "Tuvok, you have the bridge."

**On entering sickbay**, Captain Janeway saw Ishaia lying on a bio bed. Walking over to her, she said tersely, "What can you tell me about this entity, Ishaia?" She was entirely focused on finding away to stop this attack on her people. Chakotay entered sickbay as the Captain spoke.

Suddenly I was angry. Not long ago my mother and sister had been killed by Cardassians. They had raped and beaten me. I was transported 70,000 light years to the Delta Quadrant; This entity was attacking me, doing its best to destroy my mind. And now the Captain stood there calmly, insisting that I 'report' all the details of this life form, as though I was some sort of sensor array and not a person.

I blew up, "report, report! That's all you can say to me! This thing is trying to kill me, for Assri's sake…"

"Ishaia…." Chakotay interrupted sternly.

"NO!" I shouted. "You're not helping me either. You keep saying that you all will get me through this! How? Tell me that, will you. You can't even tell when it's here. You both keep wanting reports and descriptions, and you expect me to act like a Starfleet officer. But I'm not. I'm only 15…" and I rolled off the bed. Staggering, my knees buckling I struggled out of sickbay.

"Ishaia," I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jerked my arm away, losing my balance I fell against the wall. He took me firmly by the shoulders, forcing me to face him. I tried to pull away, put he held me tightly. "Ishaia, stop."

"Leave me alone." 

"That's enough, Ishaia." I had never heard him use that tone of voice before. I looked at him suddenly feeling apprehensive. Since Manua had been killed he was all I had. Perhaps that was presumptuous of me. I felt like he was the only person who cared about me; the only one I could talk to. 

What I was feeling must have shown on my face for his face softened. He put his arm around my shoulders and spoke gently, "we need to talk. I do know that you're overwhelmed and I'm sorry that you feel all we care about are your reports. But, I have to put the welfare of the crew first. That's part of being on a starship. Crewmen are being attacked and dying and you're the only one who has any answers. I'm very proud of you, Ishaia. You have handled yourself exceptionally well, I couldn't ask anything more."

The Captain walked up behind him. "Ishaia, I'm sorry to have to press you." 

"I understand, Captain," I said softly. The anger draining out of me. "I'll tell you everything I can." I felt emotionally and physically exhausted. 

"Let's go to your quarters," Janeway said placing her hand on my shoulder. 

**Entering my** quarters, I sat down on the sofa. Chakotay sat next to me and the Captain took a chair to the side. "Ishaia, I need you to tell me everything that you can about this life form." I nodded, taking a deep breath. Chakotay took my hand and gave me an encouraging smile.

"It's a psionic energy life form."  
"What does it want?" Janeway asked.

"Us…it feeds on our bio-neural energy."

"Why did it attack you?"

"Because it knew that I would sense it, recognize it for what it is. That I would be able to fight it. It prefers to kill without the victims being aware of what is happening. 

"How do we fight it?" Asked Chakotay.

I shook my head, "I don't know. When I'm in contact with it I'm too busy fighting it to gather information. What I know, I've learned in bits and pieces during the different attacks."

"Could we communicate with it?" Inquired Captain Janeway.

I looked at her in amazement, "communicate with it? You've gotta be kidding…oops, sorry Captain." I corrected catching Chakotay's look. "I can't imagine trying to communicate with it. I'm too occupied with trying to avoid contact." The Captain sat there a moment lost in thought.

"Captain?" Questioned the Commander.

"Ummm, what? Oh, I was just thinking that first we have to try communicate with it. Ishaia, do you think you could do that?" I looked at her in absolute dismay. She couldn't be serious, could she? I felt the panic starting to drown me. "Ishaia?"

How could I possibly express how I felt? How could I make them understand what they were asking? "You might as well throw me back to the Cardassians." I said bitterly. Chakotay looked at me, dismayed. What did he expect of me, anyway? I was afraid that he was angry with me. I got up, pushing past him and rushed into the bedroom.

Captain Janeway looked at Chakotay, a puzzled expression in her eyes, "what was that all about, Commander?"

"A minute if I may, Captain." He said heading toward the bedroom.

**Entering the bedroom**, he stopped in the doorway and stood a moment, watching her. She was standing with her back to him, looking out the porthole at the stars. 

"I suppose you're mad at me." I mumbled, crossing my arms over my chest.

He walked up behind me, putting his hands on my shoulders. "Why do you think that?" He asked. I sighed, leaning my head against the window. "Ishaia, I'm not angry with you. First of all, it takes a lot to make me angry and second, you haven't done anything wrong. It's just that you shocked me. I guess I hadn't realized just how hard this has been for you. Not until you made that comment. I didn't truly understand the hell you were going through. Part of it has been the way you've handled everything. It's easy to forget that you're only fifteen."

I let out my breath, turning around to face him, the tears streaming down my face. "I can't do this." I whispered brokenly. "It has been trying to kill me after all. I don't know how the Captain can ask me to do this."

He reached out, gently brushing the tears off my face. "Ishaia, the Captain has to put the welfare of the crew before the welfare of one person."

"And what about you? Are you asking me to do this? Whose welfare do you have to put first? I guess I don't have to ask that; I know the answer."

He cupped my chin in his hand, "Ishaia, I hardly know how to answer that."

"How about the truth? You promised to never lie to me."

He nodded, "I do have to put the crew first. But I do care about you. That hasn't changed and it won't. My duty to protect the crew includes you; you're part of the crew."

"But do you think I should do this?" I insisted.

"I'm not sure. Do you think that you could communicate with them?"

"Probably, but whether or not I'd ever recover is another thing."

"Honey, if we don't stop them somehow, they will probably destroy the entire crew. That would leave you as the only survivor, again. How would you feel about that?" I looked at him totally speechless. I leaned my head against his chest and I simply shook. I didn't think that I could handle that again. Putting his arms around me, he said, "honestly, knowing how you feel, I would say don't. But, if you don't I don't think you will be able to forgive yourself. Not even with me saying that it's not your fault." He lifted my chin up, searching my face. I think you need to do this if at all possible. It's the only way."

**The Captain,** Commander Chakotay, the senior crew and myself assembled in the briefing room. The Captain gave them a broad outline of what I'd told her and then I filled in the details. At least as much as I could. Janeway then proceeded to explain about her idea of communicating with the entity and my objection to it.

"Ishaia is an extremely powerful telepath," Tuvok started. "She has a unique technique for combining the strength of two telepathic minds. Perhaps we could utilize that technique."

"Ishaia?" Asked Captain Janeway.

I slowly nodded my head. "That might work. In fact, it has a better chance of working than just me alone."

"Very well. When can you start?" Inquired Janeway.

"It will take me time to prepare. I will need to meditate and center myself. Also, there is a telepathic focusing crystal, a Runitian Crystal that I will need. It should be possible to replicate it."

The Captain nodded her head. "Take care of it, Commander."

"Aye, Captain."

"Ummm, Captain?" She looked over at me. "What do you want me to tell them… it…whatever?"

She looked thoughtful a moment then looked at the rest of the senior officers, "dismissed." They filed out of the room. Janeway eyed her XO; he rose, put his hand on my shoulder for a moment and left also. The Captain started talking quietly, explaining about first contact.


End file.
